Missing My Crown

It's 6:35pm and I'm feeling kinda blah like always. Truth be told, life has shown me several small glimpses of happiness, but the consistency is really lacking. My mind goes back, and back, and back, and back, and I try to realize where and when I lost my swagg. After wracking my brain for hours, it finally came to me. My swagg and the spirit of confidence died when I cut my hair. Most of you all may find it hard to believe but I used to have a thick grade of long hair. We're talking shoulder length without having it straightened. I cannot tell you how much I really valued and cherished my hair.

Now I know there is a lot of conflict when it comes to men and us having long hair but it really gave me a deeper sense of self. It almost seemed like my mind retained more knowledge with hair. Doesn't make sense? Well, it didn't always make sense to me either but that's how it went. It makes my mind reflect on the story of Sampson and Delilah. I'm not saying that I cut my hair due to the influence of a female counterpart. I'm saying I chopped my crown to fit in the corporate culture of the School of Business & Industry at Florida A&M University. It was told to me upon my admission into the program that men with long hair was not an acceptable image into the culture of corporate America. I wanted my hair but I desperately wanted to place myself in a position to be awarded an internship with one of the big fortune 500 companies. Well, after chopping the crown, I graduated from (SBI) and did not pick up one internship while I was there.

So as I sit at 26 years old looking to further myself and really gain the discipline it takes to be a full-time boyfriend, employee, part-time student, fraternity man, and Mason, I realize that all of these commitments and obligations would have been quite easy with my crown. Why? Because kings make things happen. I'm no longer royalty, but a part of the masses. Should I grow it back and restore the confidence of my youthful expression, or remain a product of socieities eyes in the constant struggles of wondering how it would make me appear. I honestly don't know. I do know that I miss it more than ever. It was just something different about my confidence. It made me feel unique. I wasn't like the rest. Let me get off my soap box.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, but you can't be a king without it.

I'm Out...