The Blues

It's 2:48am and I'm sitting here defeated as always. Clearly tomorrow is the big day to take this test in Organizational Theory & Behavior and if it's looking good, it damn sure ain't feeling good. I think I've done everything humanly possible to prepare me for this test and after being quizzed by my girlfriend, I feel like I don't have a damn clue. What's really going on? People maybe able to say a lot about me, but they'll never be able to call me a quitter. That characterisitic just ain't in my character. I feel like a blazing idiot when I think how life has continously kicked my a** and I get up, brush myself off, and come back to take another a** whoopin. I just don't know.

I've seen many people acquire Bachelor's degrees and to be perfectly honest, I just don't feel like I can stop here. I want the Master's so bad I can almost taste it. Perhaps my judgment has been affected as a result of my wants. Everyone isn't cut out to be a top notch student. History has proven that definitely isn't my claim to fame. It just maybe my calling to be an average guy. Well, I say if I'm going to be average, I'm going to go down fighting to do extraordinary things. I just don't know how much left I have in the tank to continue fighting the good fight. It has been said that a fool is a man who tries the same thing over and over again and expects a different result. Well, I maybe a fool to be back in school.

Prayerfully, the lord knows the desires of my heart and hopefully will bestow upon me favor to accomplish those desires. I don't know. Sometimes I honestly can't tell. It maybe that grad school was never in his will in the first place. That's what you get for being out of compliance. Somethings got to give, that's for damn sure. Either way, in approximately fourteen hours, destiny will have to be faced. As with all of my academic fights, I know I'm probably going to go down, but bit**, best believe I'll go down swinging. I still have my pride even at my lowest of points.

I'm Out...